true stuff

I'm in love with cities I've never been to and people I've never met. -unknown

a work in process

I'm alone in a city full of faces.

Once Upon a Time...

I sit each day in front of frosty white windows searching for something more, something real. I was stupid to believe in "happily ever after".  I've had my fill of enchanted castles and puffy pink dresses. I've sat upon rain clouds for so long that the jewel-studded crown, woven into my hair, has rusted into plastic. I wished myself into a perfect world where everyone's a rainbow pony. The air is free of fumes. The grass is free of stickers. The world is free of pain. But without agony there can be no smiles. For happiness can’t happen without poison green apples. So here I sit, stuck in a world where there's no such thing as rainbows.

Chasing After Butterflies

We spend eternity running after happiness we may grasp it but it won’t stay within our fingers forever. Everyone seems to believe that happiness will unlock the life that everyone dreams for. However, that’s just a lie our parents have placed in our hearts so that we might have hope for a future that’s not quite as bleak as the one we walk through today. The only happiness that exists within the barrier of this broken world is fake. Let’s not waste our breath. The key to life is sorrow, for you can never appreciate what’s around you if you haven’t ever ached with pain. So, let’s all forget about chasing after butterflies. Stop running away from your tears let them fall and warm your skin. Accept the agony. Happy people are forgotten; they die within a bed of flowers. If you live for happiness then you have lived for your own selfish dreams. However, Happiness exists and there's nothing wrong with inviting that warm feeling into your heart. But happiness isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be; one day it will end and then where will we all be? No, I’m not going to spend my life searching for something that will fade and make the pain of living even more prominent. 

The Cycle of Life

   Molly is a child sitting on the edge of her seat at the circus clinging to her mother's hand as she watches  the majestic lion leap what seems like 200 feet, into a hoop engulfed in flames; as the clown crisp with color, his cheeks red from laughter bounds from one place to the next squirting an endless amount of sparkling flower power in the air. The ring master orchestrating his circus of life. She’s unaware of anything past fairytales. She just stares up towards the clouds making out animals and finding  shooting stars. Everything is filled with an endless amount of color and lined with happiness. She fights to stay awake each night, staring out towards the stars until she sees the first glint of sunlight. She dances around in a plastic tiara, without any doubt that she's beautiful. She finds the good in everyone, no matter how evil their hearts are. 

                 The seconds start to pass, and then the nightmares start to flow right through, taking the place of  her present. She wakes up screaming each night, trying her best to lull herself back to black and white dreams of dry flowers and dead butterflies. The bright blue sky starts fading; the enchanted grass starts loosing its softness. And slowly but surely the child she once knew deteriorates into a state of forgotten culture. The world no longer quite as big and amazing as it once appeared to be.

          The pages of her life being torn out one by one; quickly becoming a pile of  memories scattered across the floor. Clogging the sink with her tears, as she stares towards the mirror repeating to herself how ugly she thinks she is. It’s impossible for her to let go of the rain that falls each night from her heart. Each day she watches as people bully people into a pile of guilt, but she no longer cares if the princess gets her prince charming. Her magical carriage turned into a pumpkin again. The music in her enchanted castle; her evil stepmother put it on mute. All the color has faded from this world. She no longer sees anything but evil in everyone's hearts.For she's changed, she's grown older, no longer just an innocent child  Sitting in the circus, watching the lion jump two feet into a hula-hoop with taped on flames. The dingy clown squirting two drops of an undecided liquid onto an old lady's lap. The ring master orchestrating his circus of lies.

Just a lil thank you

I live in a world full of people that take everything for granted. Sometimes I forget that I’m part of the world. I tend to complain if I don’t have the things I want or the life that’s portrayed on the big screen. Every once and awhile I realize that I haven’t taken the time to stop and look around at the things that makes life bearable. I know my manners. I know what to say when things go my way. Manners are great and all but I don’t remember the last time I actually meant please and thank you. I think sometimes I just think I deserve the things I have and when something comes along that I’ve wanted I say to myself, “It’s about time...” I go around each day living in the moment because that’s what society taught me to do, live. I guess living is what life is all about, but there comes a time when I need to look back at the life that I’ve lived; not to dwell on the past or yearn for the memories that once were; but thank God for the life that I’ve had. Thank him for the moments. Thank him because every single time I thought I was just about to crumble he took me in his arms and glued me back together. Sometimes however, I forget that life was ever broken I move on from my troubles without the slightest little thank you to Him who made it all better. Obviously I’ll have a little trouble sending God a thank you card but being appreciative of not just the things I have in my life but life itself is a thank you enough.

I’m thankful for the wind that blows my hair up towards the heavens. I’m thankful for the stars that make their statement in the sky. I’m thankful for the corn nuggets that dwell at Chicken Express. I’m thankful for the things I’ve been through because it shaped me into who I am today. I’m thankful for my threaded socks that warm my feet and bring color to my legs. I’m thankful for Sonic for making Super Sonic Breakfast Burritos without jalapenos. I’m thankful for Chinese food because it’s really awesome and amazing. I’m thankful for bathrooms because without them I’d pee my pants a lot. I’m thankful for music because it makes my mornings brighter. I’m thankful for orange juice with pulp because it’s like you’re eating and drinking fruit at the same time. I’m thankful for my childhood because without it I would have never made mud pies or made the backyard look like a river of chocolate that would have made Willie Wonka jealous. I’m thankful for my family because they shaped me into who I am today. I’m thankful for the places I’ve been because it opened my eyes to the world outside the bubble we all live in. Lastly I’m thankful for my Lord, without him I’d have no reason to live